If there is one thing I value in life, it is freedom. I am obsessed with the idea of being completely unhindered to go and do whatever God would lead me to do. It is probably why when I learned that the presence of the Holy Spirit is freedom, I was hooked. 2 Corinthians 3:17, “Now the Lord is the Spirit and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom”. To acknowledge that there is no legalism found in the Spirit of the Lord is a game changer in having a relationship with Jesus.
Last month, I had been feeling the strain of not having freedom in money. My car got a boot in a downtown parking lot. Even though the parking attendant who had put it on was still standing next to my lovely CR-V they refused to unlock the boot until I paid $160. After reluctantly handing over my card, I got in the car and prayed a really simple prayer. “God, I know you are provider, I trust you with my money”. I then proceeded to feel frustrated and stuck. While living on a tight budget I have felt like I can’t make mistakes because mistakes cost money. I was feeling whatever emotion is opposite of freedom and I was not amused.
The next day I was at church. As we worshipped I felt the weight of the attributes of God we were singing. Believing God is worthy, He is Lord, He is good, He is faithful. As I praised His name, He prompted me with an idea that is so anti-flesh it could only be from him. I felt him telling me to give away $160 over the next week in radical generosity and trust that He would provide for me. Sometimes when I feel God telling me to do something I don’t necessarily want to do I enter a tug of war where I share my ideas of why that is a bad idea. But this time was different. I knew God wins the tug of war every time and I wanted to just have faith that he would provide the $320 total coming out of my bank account unexpectedly that week.
That evening I shared with my roommate what God was inviting me into so she could hold me accountable to faithfully seeing it through. Then the next day I began to dream with God. Asking him for creative ways to be generous. I began to get excited about what God was going to do with this $160. Throughout the week I had so much fun partnering with God in obedience with giving generously. Leaving large tips at coffee shops, buying my family groceries, unexpectedly dropping off flowers for my friends, and more. The whole week my eyes were set on how I could generously love those I am encountering. And woah, a heart shift occurred. I felt immense freedom with my money the whole week. Delighting in generosity and trusting that God would provide for what he was asking me to do. And guess what? My bank account did not make sense at the end of the week. For the first time, I opened it up and didn’t feel stressed. God had provided in just as radical of a way as he had asked me to give.
Luke 16:19-31 tells the story of the rich man and Lazarus. To summarize there was a man who lived in wealth and comfort. He never encountered God and when he died, he went to hell. On the other hand, there was a poor man named Lazurus who had a skin disease and lived outside of the rich man’s home. Lazarus lived in deep discomfort. At some point in Lazarus’s life, he encountered God and devoted his life to him. Scripture says, “The poor man died and was carried by the angels to Abraham’s side”. I learned through a sermon from my pastor, Ethan Welch, that the issue in this story wasn’t the rich man’s wealth. The issue was the man’s relationship with his wealth. Having money and comfort is not a bad thing. However, when it becomes a god and takes away seeing your need for the one true God it is detrimental. Lazarus had nothing yet he had full awareness of his need for God. That left him with eternal comfort and riches. In the last few months, God has brought me through a process of deeper sanctification. He has been teaching me my desperate need for him. That process while sometimes costly from an earthly perspective is eternally valuable.
Grace
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